


Save Me Like Old Times

by RiddleBlack



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Sort of one-sided?, maternal death, spoilers for Kingsman: the golden circle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-05 23:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddleBlack/pseuds/RiddleBlack
Summary: “I need you, ‘Arry.”Harry’s heart runs cold. He feels as though the world has stopped spinning while he’s suddenly moving far, far too fast. He’d heard those words for the first time in his padded cell back in Kentucky, the man he was listening to now looking at him like he had moved the sun and the moon and the stars and in the months he hadn’t heard from Eggsy, he had so desperately longed to hear him say those words again.But not like this.It was never meant to happen like this.





	Save Me Like Old Times

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked: If you're still asking for hartwin prompts how about if Eggsy and Tilde have a baby but she dies in childbirth so Eggsy calls up Harry asking for help because he's scared about having to raise the baby alone.
> 
> I had a lot of problems with The Golden Circle, but I still loved it. I loved how Tilde and Eggsy's relationship was written prior to the events of Glastonbury and I wish Tilde had been expanded more/written better. However, this was a Hartwin prompt and I am always down for pained/pining Harry, so... yeah. Sorry, I just felt like I needed to explain my writing? I'm rambling, enjoy the fic.

When Harry answers the incessant beeping of his glasses in the middle of the goddamn night, he expects to be informed of a mission. After all, Champ still hasn’t quite processed the matter of ‘time zones’ yet and Harry is still reluctant to move to America (he isn’t sure why; it isn’t like he has anything keeping him here anymore). He puts them on, ready to remind his new handler of the hour before preparing a suitcase to get on a plane to who-fucking-knew-wh-

“’Arry?”

Harry goes stiff, hand gripped on the sheets, one foot half out of the bed. The bed that had immediately been too big when he returned, knowing that no one would be joining him in it his first time home. Or any time after.

He takes in the image being sent through the screen. It’s far too bright for the hour, everything white and clinical. He hates that he can instantly tell that it’s a hospital and that it feels familiar, almost.

“’Arry? You there?” The voice croaks again, sounding so utterly pained and hurt that Harry’s mind is pulled back into focus.

“Eggsy?” He murmurs and he hates how goddamn breathless he is just by him saying his name. Fuck, they hadn’t spoken in nearly a year and now-

“Hey...” His voice is soft and affectionate, but Harry can hear the struggle to keep his tone even. He watches the image shift down, revealing pajamas bottoms and a pair of sneakers, the laces not even tied up, “It’s... it’s been a long time, yeah?”

“It has, yes.” Harry replies, but he doesn’t release the blankets or climb back into bed. When Eggsy doesn’t reply, he presses. “Is something wrong?”

He hears the man inhale deeply, as if struggling to figure out how to answer. “I ‘ate that you think I’m callin’ ‘cause I need some’fin...” He says, his usual snark undercut by the shakiness in his voice, “A-An’ I ‘ate tha’ tha’s’ why I’m callin’...”

Harry doesn’t even hesitate. “What’s wrong? Are you in trouble?” He begins to consider the possible injuries Eggsy could have had during the night that would require such a call, only for the boy to answer.

“Fuck, I wish, ‘Arry,” Harry watches his hand grasp his forehead, his palm partially filling the frame, “I fuckin’ wish-”

Before he can even completely finish his exclamation, his body is wracked with sobs and Harry goes stiff. He’d only seen Eggsy cry twice in their time together; the first when they’d argued about his mistake costing his father’s life and the second when he’d believed he had killed Agent Whiskey. Both times had been his fault. Both times had broken his heart.

“She’s dead, ‘Arry,” Eggsy finally manages to spit out the information through his tears, “She’s fuckin’ gone and it’s ‘cause of me-”

“What?” Harry starts to climb out of bed, more to simply move and process the vague news, “Who, Eggsy? Who-”

“Tilde! My wife, you fu-” He cuts himself off, choking down the curse and shaking his head, “I’m sorry, ‘Arry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

“There is no need for apologies,” Harry assures, “What happened, Eggsy?”

“I-I... sh-she didn’t w-wanna come in-” Eggsy struggles to get the words out, having to take moments to breathe or swallow back a cry, “Sh-she said she w-wanted to w-wait ‘cause they didn’t want her d-doin’ natural an’ if she could jus’  _try_  she could do it, b-but she was  _bleedin’_ , ‘Arry, an’ we couldn’t get ‘ere fast ‘nough ‘cause she didn’t want an ambulance an’ when we got ‘ere they took ‘er back ‘cause she wasn’t supposed to try natural-”

Harry frowns, trying to discern the meaning, only to remember several headlines he’d seen over the course of the past several months. ‘Prince and Princess of Sweden are expecting first child’; ‘Swedish royal couple seen enjoying day out before baby arrives’; ‘With the due date fast approaching, Tilde and Gary excited to announce that they will be having a son'.

“Eggsy-”

“An’ they made me get all scrubbed up an’ shit an’ I get back there an’ they make me leave ‘fore I even see her! But I got a look and she looked so fuckin’ scared, ‘Arry!” Eggsy is wracked with even more sobs and it takes all of Harry’s strength to keep from crying with him, “She was so scared an’ I couldn’t even be there to help! I couldn’t tell ‘er it’d be okay an’ it wasn’t fuckin’ okay, ‘Arry!”

“I know, Eggsy-”

“They cut ‘er open like a fuckin’ fish to get the baby and they fucked ‘er up and she’s fuckin’ gone and it’s all ‘cause of me-”

“Eggsy, that’s not true. You didn’t-”

“I should’a made her go sooner! I should’a called someone-”

“You did what you could-”

“It wasn’t fuckin’ enough, was it!?”

Harry listens as Eggsy cries, wishing for once that he’d caused the cause for the sobs because then Eggsy could blame someone other than himself. He stays silent, listening to the voice he’d missed for so long fill his ears in a way he wished it never would.

“‘An now... now I’m callin’ you ‘cause I can’t fuckin’ do this...”

Harry blinks, confused by where he was going with the statement. “Do what?”

“I can’t do this by myself, ‘Arry... I’m gonna’ end up like Dean if I don’t have someone keepin’ me in check. I can’t to that to the baby-”

Ah, the baby. How could Harry forget? Of course there was a baby, that was the whole reason this had happened, the whole reason Eggsy was calling after not they hadn’t spoken in more than a fucking year-

Harry rips himself from his thoughts, knowing better than to go down that road. He doesn’t need that now. Not with this call.

“Eggsy, you could never be like Dean.”

“Then what if I’m like my Mum!? I could go off the rails! Get wif’ someone that’ll ‘urt ‘im and he don’t deserve that! He ain’t even a day ol’ yet and his life’s already shit ‘cause of me!”

The baby again. Him. A little boy. A little boy with her hair and his eyes and chubby cheeks and-

“You are quite easily the most maternal person I know. I can’t imagine anyone more qualified to be a pa-”

“I need you, ‘Arry.”

Harry’s heart runs cold. He feels as though the world has stopped spinning while he’s suddenly moving far, far too fast. He’d heard those words for the first time in his padded cell back in Kentucky, the man he was listening to now looking at him like he had moved the sun and the moon and the stars and in the months he hadn’t heard from Eggsy, he had so desperately longed to hear him say those words again.

But not like this.

It was never meant to happen like this.

“Eggsy, I-”

“Please, Harry,” Eggsy said, his voice barely above a whisper, “Please. I can’t do this. I can’t do this by myself. I know you hate me-”

“I could never hate you.”

“You should.”

Harry swallowed, allowing his legs to give out from under him as he sat down on the bed. He could never hate Eggsy, and that was exactly the problem. When he came back - back from the dead, back from his mind, back from the memories of Kentucky heat and blasphemous hate - he’d expected to find Eggsy waiting. The beautiful young man that he’s taken under his wing and into his arms and into his bed during their twenty-four allotted hours together. Those hours had meant everything to him and according to Eggsy, he’d felt the same. And when Harry got shot, the only thing he could consider before he saw a bullet followed by darkness was the fear that he left Eggsy thinking he didn’t love him. When he returned and remembered, he’d been welcomed back so lovingly that he thought all was well. All was as it was. Only to see the phone background. And hear the passing mentions. And eavesdrop on the conversation while Merlin questioned his memory. All of that could have been denied.

But then Eggsy had to tell him. He’d had a girlfriend and lost her and she was going to die if they didn’t save the world. And so Harry had to lie. He’d seen nothing, thought of nothing, no one, when Valentine put a bullet in his brain and that was why Eggsy deserved to have this love. He didn’t bring up his feelings, his memories of their flesh or gentle touches or expressions of admiration and affection whispered into each other’s necks. He shoved in deep inside, put on a smile, and saved the world, just like he’d always done.

He didn’t even remember the wedding. He couldn’t anymore. He didn’t stay for the reception or the celebration, instead going back to the house he had purchased to replace the one that had been blown to pieces in his absence and drank until he was unconscious. And such a routine followed until he finally got a call from the Statesman, asking if he was interested in a mission. Sobering up, he prepared to continue his plan. Shove his emotions deep inside, put on a smile, and save the world. And if any calls or messages came in from Eggsy (Prince Gary, he reminded himself), he pretended not to have seen them. Eventually, they stopped coming and Harry resolved to hear about Eggsy and his new life through the covers of tabloids. He could handle that. There was a distance in that. Distance that didn’t need to be fucked up by calls in the middle of the night and deaths that didn’t deserve to happen-

“I could  _never_ hate you.” He repeats, tone more convicted this time.

Eggsy lets out a shuddered sigh. “Then... then can you please ‘elp me? For old time’s sake?”

 _He’s too young to be thinking of ‘old times’,_ Harry thinks bitterly and he stands, going to his closet to change out of his pajamas.

“Of course, Eggsy.” He says, unsure of where exactly this is meant to go. He had no plan, no thoughts, no experience with children, let alone infants. He doesn’t even know if Eggsy will want him there once he sees him. This could be such a big fucking mistake, an act that could ruin the life of the man he loves even more than it already had been.

“I’m always here for you.”


End file.
